{to the future you} I

The earliest memories I have with my mum, was when once she was feeding me. I was unwilling to open my mouth, then she said, “let’s play a game, and the one who first get the food wins”.

And your guess is right: she pretended that she was disappointed for not managing to get even one spoonful of the meal, and yes, I “won” easily. I could remember that her face was so close when holding me in her arm, that I could only see her chin and lips when she was talking. I love her tone of voice, and I always love that when I was young, especially when she read me stories.

When I was slightly older about three, I experienced one of the most exciting childhood adventures on my dad’s bicycle. That was a dark night with very heavy rain. I couldn’t remember where we came from or where we were heading to. I only remember that he put on his black raincoat and shaded me underneath, asked me to grab him tightly from the back seat. “hold tight, ready??” he charged into the rain as soon as he made sure I was secure.

I was a little scared yet excited as I peeked out from the edge gap of that fluttered raincoat, seeing rain drops swept across the rolling wheels and reflecting in the pale street lamps, hearing the rain splattering loud on our only protector. Yet I know, I was safe underneath dad’s raincoat.

I learned the rest of the memories from some family photos we have. Our first home, favourite park, and few rare photos captured dad and mom’s natural smiling expressions. When they sometimes trying to describe how daily life used to be before I have memories, I tried hard to imagine.

I wish to know more.

I wish I have photos. Photos that not showing what we were wearing, which hotel we’ve lived, which theme parks they brought me to, but photos of our everyday, something most raw but rare. And I decided to give this present to little Lauren, baby girl of my very good friends, Brenda & Samuel, the two people who greatly inspired my life.

Dear Lauren, these were taken before you could remember much. And I’m writing to the future you. I hope these remind you of how much and often your dad and mum hugs you, plays with you, looks after you, protects you, and love you. I wish you will receive their hearts again when you look back, and see something that you can never see before you grow up. I wish these photos will encourage you to care them more without hesitation, and love them more without reasons. And when life happens to be tough, I wish these will help you to find your way back home.

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